Recently, I heard a song that went like this:
“Little girls grow up to be their mommas
That makes daddies love them even more
But today you’ve got to make a promise
You’ll be momma’s child forevermore.
Little boys grow up to their daddies
That makes mamas love them even more
And even though the world may treat you badly
You’ll be daddy’s child forevermore.”
A Child’s Song By John Fulbright
I got to thinking that this song is like so many songs, messages and such that we receive from the world today.
It sets that stage not only for the future of a child but for the expectations that parents have. And what might that be? Will that empower the child to be happy being themselves, or will they feel that they need to fit into a parent's dream of who the child should be?
I learned from my kids that they are not on this planet to become me, or please me or make any promises to me. As a parent what I would like most for my kids is that they become all that they are, which will be much different than what I am.
Perhaps the reason the words of this song caught my attention is because for years I felt that I was supposed to be like my mother, and perhaps that was how I thought I would gain the attention and approval of my father. After a long time of trying to live a life that was modeled in the image of my mother, I found myself not very happy. I can’t even say that they imposed this on to me, but somewhere I got the idea that being like my mom would make them both happy and then maybe with them happy I would be happy too. That didn’t turn out to be true for me and I doubt that it is true for anyone else who desires to feel true to themselves.
Once I let go of being my mother, I began to explore what brought me joy and fulfillment. Amazingly I was very different than my mother. I now choose to do everything in my life from a place of the joy it brings out in me. How empowering would it be if parents could let go of their children growing up to be all that they see themselves as and allow the kids to choose what creates their joy of living? I wonder how much less depression we would see in children. I wonder if there would be more joy on this planet.